The Anxiety Chronicles

The Anxiety Chronicles. Part 2

Some people wish for new things, expensive things, materialistic things. People cry because they dont have an iPad, or the newest phone, or the newest shoes, or the most expensive cameras.

I didn’t wish for any of that. The only wish i had was to become an architect. This, I felt, was the only thing i truly wanted. Since I was 7 years old, i had decided upon this. All I wanted was this.

But now that dream is but a dim sparkle of light surrounded by darkness. And that which has engulfed it all is the sole cause of every single stress and anxiety I have had since I was a kid, money.

Money. Money for bills, money for food, money for sick family members, money to buy a family car, money, money money. And no matter what happened, there was never enough. Never enough to buy Christmas presents, or shoes, or clothes, or childhood toys. And now not enough for college. 

Money. Money for tution, money for housing, money for dining, money for essentials, money for books, money for clothes, and what collapsed my dream was the amount of money i needed for architecture. Almost 3 thousand on average more. My dream is gone, it has slipped out of my hands.

The worst part is that i have worked so hard. I struggled so much in elementary school, having a low income, not knowing english, being an outsider. But i pulled through. Being in middle school, surrounded by bullies, making fun of my weight, my old clothes, more family problems. But i pulled through. High school, dealing with so much stress, sleepless nights. Reaching my academic goals, to go to college.

And after all that, after everything, every hour spent studying, stressing out, money takes it all away from me.

Money. I hate money. I’ve come from having no money, to being able to live the american dream, and now im back to the same. 

If i knew that in the end i was going to end up going to a community college, i would have not tried so hard all my life. 

julie-margaret:

When people complain about things I would be so happy to have .. Yeah, try looking at things in a different angle, please. You obviously don’t see the positive side to it.

(via julie-margaret-deactivated20121)

inserchof:

Cotton Candy, Majin Bu ! 

inserchof:

Cotton Candy, Majin Bu ! 

(via yngcv)

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
— Matthew 6:34, The Message (via julie-margaret)

(Source: n-illisa, via julie-margaret-deactivated20121)